So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
