He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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