Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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