dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Too much gin, very little bucket
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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