I think i sorta joined a cult last night
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
