If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I am naked and annoyed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
