Your face is a jimmy john
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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