Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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