I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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