well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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