i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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