i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
