I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
