I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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