My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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