his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
