were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
