The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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