Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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