I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
