Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
