Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
