32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
