He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
