Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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