he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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