There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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