So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
