Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
