my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I need water and some morals
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
