I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
