We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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