I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
