If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You made out with two different species that night
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
