I think i peed on brittanys purse
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
