I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
