New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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