i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
