and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
