Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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