I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
