i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
