it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
