just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
