But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
