every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
