part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
