we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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