One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
