so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
they need to just BURY HIM!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
